Think Before We Speak!

I was going to do this blog about step two of the foster care journey for us. Then something happened, well keeps happening to my husband and I, and to be honest it really upsets me.

We will tell people, and yes even friends and family, that we are taking in children and being foster care parents. And without a beat they will ask us about race, gender, and how many we will take. I don’t really mind those questions, to me they are normal questions that I believe anyone would ask. It is their responses to our answers that upset me so much. We will tell them that we don’t care about the race or sex of the children and as for how many, my husband and I have said that we would like to have no more than 4 children for right now until we get the hang of it. We would also like to just take one sibling group for right now and prefer they would be 6 and younger but will take older if we feel God is telling us to do so. The most hurtful response to me was when they said to me that I could not handle 4 children. This comment hurt me deeply because I believe that they 1.  Do not know me that well and definitely not as well as they think they know me. 2. They are not God and only God knows what we can and cannot handle and if God gives us 4 children to take care of then He will give me what I need to take care of 4 children.  3. I also believe that we don’t even know what we are capable of handling until it gets put in our laps. And 4.  This is my favorite, there is a verse that I love in the Bible that says “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13.  Between my husband and I we have heard all sorts of negative things.

I do want to say that this person did not mean their comment to hurt me or maybe they did but I am choosing to give them the benefit of the doubt and say that they did not mean to hurt me.

I think we could use it as a reminder to watch what we say to those around us. Is it encouraging and useful to build them up or could it be hurtful? It is also a great reminder to those of us who hear the hurtful comments to show grace to those who speak such things to us and give them the benefit of the doubt that they do not mean it in a mean, negative way.